Dear Caroline,
I hope that you can help. I have been feeling very low lately because I have failed to accomplish any of the life goals that I set out to achieve at the beginning of the year. I feel incredibly frustrated with myself as I have let another twelve months go by and nothing about my current life situation has changed for the better.
If I am being honest, it is very difficult to have motivation when I feel such hopelessness. Some of the people that I have confided in recently, tell me that I am being too ambitious with my thoughts of the future and that I should just be happy and settled with what I have. Are they right? Or are there any tips that you can give me as to how to feel inspired again to try for next year?
Thank you,
Marla
Dear Marla,
You raise an important and collective issue felt by many of us. With December arriving and the year drawing to a close, it can often feel frustrating if we have not managed to achieve the goals that we set out for ourselves at the beginning of the year. The good news is that you already possess the power within to initiate the changes that you wish to make once your motivation and self-belief is restored. Here are some initial steps to get you back on track.
1. Take action now. The calendar is irrelevant and it does not matter what month, day or time, it is. The key is seizing the opportunity of now and having the courage to pursue your dreams, whatever they may be. This means that you do not have to wait for the first day in January to initiate any of the changes that you wish to make, you can do that right NOW.
2. Write down your goals. Defining your goals establishes focus. What do you hope for? What are your intentions? What is it that you want to change? Whether it is your career, your living situation, your fitness or your relationships, or perhaps all of these things, write it down, clearly and concisely. It may also help to make this frequently visible to you, try pinning a piece of paper on your bedroom wall or bathroom mirror.
3. Do not tell negative people about your plans. Before you communicate to others about your dreams, ask yourself why it is that you want them to know? No announcements are necessary. The only responsibility you have is to yourself and in focusing on the work that you need to do to make your dreams a reality. Your success should not be impacted by the opinions of others, particularly those bound to be unsupportive or demotivating. Focus on your goals and do not feel pressured by the off-putting perspectives of those around you.
4. Be aware of your fears, but do not allow them to hinder you. I can well imagine that you already know what your fears are and what has stopped you from making the life changes that you are seeking. Do you doubt yourself? Are you worried that you will fail? Are you concerned that you will let yourself down or that you are not capable of achieving your dreams? Often we are our own worst enemy when it comes to taking action and there will be times when each of us have allowed the fear of failure to thwart our efforts to even try. Bear in mind that any negative or vulnerable thoughts that you experience is completely natural. Acknowledge the fear as a normal human response to change. But do not allow it to take over. Remember that failure facilitates learning and sometimes we have to fail in order to learn just what it is that we are doing wrong. It is okay if you do not get it right first time around.
5. Take care of yourself. What does taking care of yourself mean to you? Whether it is stepping up your exercise regime, whether it is eating healthier, sleeping more or cutting out bad habits such as drinking or smoking. All changes towards healthier living help to boost our inner motivations and self-belief. Put simply, when you prioritise your well-being, your will find that your mind is sharper and that your mood is lighter.
6. Seek help if you need it. You mentioned that you have been feeling low, coupled with a sense of hopelessness. There is a chance that you have been experiencing depression. Should you find that you are undergoing other symptoms such as negative thoughts, fatigue, anxiety or difficulty functioning in your day to day routines, it is essential that you seek some support through a therapist or medical professional. The therapeutic process will also prove highly beneficial in terms of life coaching and in establishing a support system for you to persist with your goals as well as helping you to trust in your inner power that may currently feel lost amidst problematic emotions such as fear and doubt.
Most of all Marla, it is really integral to remember that with every new day comes the possibility of a new start. You deserve the very best in life. Maintain a focused and relentless attitude. If you continue to work hard, you will get there.
Wishing you every success,
Caroline
News on Sunday – My Weekly Advice Column
The News on Sunday is a popular newspaper owned by the DefiMedia Group in Mauritius, covering the local news and all the information on politics, economy, culture and entertainment. If you are looking for professional and qualified advice, then please email me directly at caroline@heretohelp.co
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