To be confident is to be secure in who you are and what feel that you are capable of. As such, our confidence impacts every aspect of our lives, particularly how we think and how we feel, as well as the choices that we make. Whilst it is entirely common and only human that we lose our self-belief from time to time, be it due to ageing, life-altering events, the breakdown of a relationship or the experience of failure, losing the confidence that we have in ourselves can prove difficult to overcome. Whatever the reason for your loss of confidence, there are steps that you can take to rebuild it.
Explore your personal triggers: Understanding why your confidence has been knocked is a first and vital step of recovery. Sit down with a pen and paper and take the time to consider what it is that has triggered your confidence crisis. Is it due to an experience that you have had? Is it due to something that somebody has said? Is it a pertaining negative belief that you hold about yourself? If so, where did this belief come from? Whilst this might not be an easy exercise, try your best to stick with it. Reflecting upon your personal thoughts is certainly a difficult task, but it can be so very rewarding in the long run. These negative thoughts or beliefs that you hold about yourself are limiting you from living the life that you want. Once you are able to pinpoint precisely what they are, you then have a framework with which to challenge. Are these beliefs correct? What can you do to change them?
Edit your negative thought patterns: Once you have established what triggers you, it is important to uphold awareness as to the inner conversations and dialogue present in your mind. Keep track of your negative thoughts, as it truly helps to write them down in order to notice any persistent patterns. Usually, the negative thoughts that we hold about ourselves revolve around a sense of shame, a sense of failure or of simply not being good enough. Replace each negative thought with either a positive, a reassuring or an encouraging one. What you tell yourself is everything. Over time, the positive voice will win.
Create a mantra: Do not underestimate the significance of an empowering mantra. Each and every morning when you wake up before you get out of bed, say aloud your chosen words, words that are personal to you and unique to your own experience. It can be anything that resonates with what it is that you need to hear, ideally something that is motivational and affirming for you. For example ‘‘I can do this’’, or ‘‘I am capable of amazing things’’. Setting your intentions in this way, with positivity and with conviction is key to starting the day as you mean to go on.
Surround yourself with people that you trust: Be mindful of any toxic people in your life. Spend time with people who lift you up, not those who drag you down. When we come to recognise those around us that are overly critical, negative or impactful, it is important that we maintain awareness of their adverse influence. For the time being, until you feel that your confidence is restored, keep these people at a distance and prioritise yourself.
Set goals for yourself: What do you want for your life? What is it that you envision for yourself? What do you dream of? Write it all down. Say it out loud. Create a vision board. Whatever it is, remember always that you deserve the life you wish to live. Once you have decided upon your goals, set aside sometime each day to work towards them. Even twenty minutes of research a day can make all the difference. The intention here is to begin to harness your momentum and self-belief. Day by day, one step at a time,
Practice self-care: Caring deeply for yourself at this stage is an essential action towards improving the way that you see yourself and ultimately the way in which you value your inner potential. Adopt a healthy eating routine, drink lots of water, move more, laugh more, take the time to enjoy life. Invest in yourself by partaking in activities that you are good at, things that make you feel fulfilled and happy. Aim for an enviable sleep pattern that allows you the adequate rest that you need to feel energised. Endeavour to be kind to yourself each and every day moving forward.
Don’t be afraid to reach out for support
Always remember that our past does not dictate our future. We can always overcome our troubles if we are determined and have the sureness to try. If you are struggling with severe shame or if you are experiencing anxiety or depression, a loss of self-confidence can prove difficult to tackle on your own. Do not hesitate to reach out for additional support from your doctor or a therapist. With some time and with some mindful dedication to restoring your confidence, you can absolutely recover. Be brave, take action and do so knowing that you are not alone.
Wishing you motivation and courage,