Counselling, Psychotherapy and Life Coaching in Sitges, Spain Counselling, Psychotherapy and Life Coaching in Sitges, Spain Counselling, Psychotherapy and Life Coaching in Sitges, Spain Counselling, Psychotherapy and Life Coaching in Sitges, Spain
  • HOME
  • ABOUT US
    • Executive Coaching
    • Celebrity Therapist
  • COUNSELLING
    • Addiction
    • Anger Management
    • Art Therapy
    • Bullying and Harassment
    • Confidence
    • Grief Counselling
    • Low Mood, Anxiety & Depression
    • LGBTQ+
    • PTSD
    • Relationship Counselling
    • Skype Counselling
    • Trauma
    • Weight Loss
  • BLOG
    • VIDEO
  • EAP SERVICES
  • PRICING
  • FAQ
  • CONTACT
    • Therapy Contract
    • Cookie Declaration
Counselling, Psychotherapy and Life Coaching in Sitges, Spain Counselling, Psychotherapy and Life Coaching in Sitges, Spain
  • HOME
  • ABOUT US
    • Executive Coaching
    • Celebrity Therapist
  • COUNSELLING
    • Addiction
    • Anger Management
    • Art Therapy
    • Bullying and Harassment
    • Confidence
    • Grief Counselling
    • Low Mood, Anxiety & Depression
    • LGBTQ+
    • PTSD
    • Relationship Counselling
    • Skype Counselling
    • Trauma
    • Weight Loss
  • BLOG
    • VIDEO
  • EAP SERVICES
  • PRICING
  • FAQ
  • CONTACT
    • Therapy Contract
    • Cookie Declaration

Blog

Counselling, Psychotherapy and Life Coaching in Sitges, Spain / Advice / Learning to relax
May 01
Relax

Learning to relax

  • 01/05/2020
  • Caroline Holbrook
  • Advice, Mental Health, Stress

Dear Caroline,

I was hoping that you can help me. It’s been suggested that I can’t relax. I’ve always had trouble relaxing since I was young, but people have commented how I seem very uncomfortable when I have nothing to do. I guess I have been stressed lately for various reasons in my personal and professional life.

My partner is becoming increasingly annoyed that I simply cannot sit down and just relax on occasion. Watching a film in its entirety, or just sitting quietly reading a book are often cited as things I don’t seem capable of doing according to her. I just think there is something else I could be doing and when I do think about it to be honest, I find it hard to switch off.

Do you have any suggestions that can help me, as up until now I didn’t really see this as being all that big a problem, if it is at all?

Kindest regards,

Melvin


Dear Melvin,

Whether or not your restless mind is a problem, is subjective and many people will differ in their opinion. If your restlessness is starting to cause significant discontentment within your relationship, or if you are finding yourself growing increasingly concerned, then it is something for you to explore further, if only to gain  a greater understanding of yourself.

This issue is a common one, for we live in a world that is demanding, hectic and stressful. Our society collectively is stressed, anxious or depressed. We equate success with money instead of our health. We feel selfish and dare I say guilty about relaxing or delegating some time for prioritising our own rest or enjoyment. However, it is so very important to relax and unwind. It is so very important to be content in your own company and it is so very important to put yourself first during times of difficulty or stress. Ultimately, if we do not have a good relationships with ourselves, how are we able to foster good relationships with others?

There are certain things that you can try straight away to get the ball rolling.

  • Assign yourself a pastime: Decide upon a number of pleasurable films, books or activities each week. Whatever it is that you enjoy, make time for it and ensure a minimum of three hours each week. This is your act of escapism. Embrace it.
  • Make time for breathing exercises each and every day: Set several minutes aside to breathe. In through your nose and out through your mouth. Take slow, steady breaths. This physical act will support you in switching off from all outer distractions and allow you refocus upon yourself.
  • Partake in ten minutes of silence: If background noise is absolutely necessary, listening to soothing music as you sit back and close your eyes each day. Be it morning, noon or night, attempt to establish this as part of your daily routine. The point of this conscious act is to pay attention to your inner voice. Pay attention to your restless thoughts that come alive whilst in a quiet room. During the silence, ask yourself why is it so difficult for you to be happy in your own company?
  • Write down your thoughts: Making a record of our thoughts and feelings as we experience them in the moment, can prove tremendously insightful. Write down all of your frustrations following each of your attempts to relax in the coming weeks. You will be surprised how as soon as we begin to reflect upon and acknowledge our emotions, our stress begins to dissipate.
  • Consider counselling sessions: If you find that your restlessness is beyond your control or that it is impacting your sleep or overall health, it is important that you reflect on a deeper level, the reasons why this is the case. Is there an underlying stress or anxiety that is triggering your inability to relax? It is also worth considering the reason why you do not feel content in your own space. Why is this difficult for you? When did this begin? By attempting to unwind your tired mind, you are also acknowledging your partner’s concerns.

There must also be a baseline of acceptance within, that appreciates the notion that it is okay to relax. It is essential to relax Melvin, for your own well-being. As of right now, grant yourself the permission to enjoy moments that are just for you.

Wishing you good health and happiness,

Caroline


News on Sunday – My Weekly Advice Column

The News on Sunday is a popular newspaper owned by the DefiMedia Group in Mauritius, covering the local news and all the information on politics, economy, culture and entertainment.

If you are looking for professional and qualified advice in and around Sitges (Spain), then please email me directly at caroline@heretohelp.co More information about myself and the services I offer can be found here at the Here to Help website.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Pinterest
  • Google+
  • LinkedIn
  • E-Mail

About The Author

Caroline is a masters qualified counsellor and psychotherapist based in Sitges (Spain) where she specialises in couples counselling, grief and art therapy. She has a weekly column in Mauritius' national newspaper, the 'News on Sunday' and has worked as one of the few and youngest ever in-house counsellors for a 'Times Top 100' company in the UK.

Related Posts

Comments are closed.

Newsletter

Recent Posts

  • Coping with Unemployment
  • A Time to Reflect
  • Confronting Weight Gain
  • Creative Therapy for Trauma
  • BetterHelp yourself with proper face-to-face Counselling

HOURS

Monday—Friday: 9:00AM–8:00PM
Saturday & Sunday: 10:00AM–5:00PM

If you are in an emergency crisis, or if you or any other person may be in danger - don't use this site.

Either talk to your GP, dial 112, or go to your nearest A&E department immediately. Alternatively contact your local crisis home treatment team, if you have one.

On Friday, our little superstar turned one! Then w On Friday, our little superstar turned one! Then we all got a bug and have had to postpone his little party... more pics to follow! We are so lucky to get to watch this little magic man laugh and learn and grow. Happy Birthday Evander. You have our hearts always. #Evanderpanda #ourbabyisone #spanglishbaby #loveofourlives
Liverpool 7 Man Utd 0 That is all. The Egyptian Liverpool 7
Man Utd 0

That is all. 

The Egyptian King, Gapko, Nunez and the beautiful Bobby Firmino wrapped up a wondrous win v our old foes. 

This is Anfield.
This means more.

The greatest club side and fans in world football, bar none.

#liverpoolfc #liverpool #lfc #ynwa #premierleague #football #anfield #salah #liverpoolfans #mosalah #championsleague #lfcfamily #firmino #klopp #gapko #weareliverpool #liverpoolfootballclub #epl #manchesterunited #lfcfans #thisisanfield #vandijk #thereds #nuñez #kopites #liverpoolinSpain #jurgenklopp #liverpoolfcfans #ucl
Follow on Instagram

CONTACT INFO

Here to Help Co
Carrer de Sant Isidre
Sitges
Catalunya
Spain
Phone: +34 603 632 924 E-Mail: caroline@heretohelp.co Web: heretohelp.co

ENDORSED BY

Find us on  Counselling Pages |

2022 Here to Help Co - WordPress Theme