I hope that you can help me.
Both my twin boys left to study at university in London two years ago and they only return annually, if at all these days. I have to admit, that during this time I have become bored. Day after day I feel depressed and stuck at home with nothing to do. It feels tedious running and cleaning a house, now that my children have flown the nest and are no longer in it.
I have my husband of course, but he works long hours and I do not see him for the majority of my day. Is this it for me? Is this all I will do for the rest of my days?
I had so many career goals of my own before having children. Time has passed so very quickly and I worry that all of my hopes and dreams are now out of reach. Am I too old? Am I stupid to even think about re-starting my life? I honestly would not even know where to begin.
Thanking you in advance,
Worry not, for it is never too late to restart your life. In fact, you now have at your fingertips the most wonderful opportunity to plough all of your energy and efforts into yourself, perhaps for the first time since starting a family nearly two decades ago.
Time, as you have acknowledged, is so very precious. It slips through our hands like grains of sand. Therefore it is exactly in times like these that we must be brave and bold! What do you want for the rest of your days? What are your hopes and dreams? Let us begin there, for before we can take action, we must know what it is that we want.
It is time to reignite your passion Moira, by envisioning what it is you would like to achieve. Take a pen and paper. For your eyes only, write down whatever goals come to mind. Do not overthink it, just write. Perhaps your dreams and goals have remained the same as they were in your younger years or perhaps they have changed. Write all of your thoughts down. Do not limit yourself to things that feel easy to attain. Write from the heart and do not rush this process. You have a responsibility to yourself to create goals that make you happy as well as satisfying you with a renewed excitement for life.
Once you have decided what it is that you want, I recommend that you task yourself with a commitment of at least one hour per day to research, to plan or to take action in order to achieve it. Do not put too much pressure on yourself. This is a personal journey that should feel rewarding, exhilarating and most of all attribute to experiencing a new lease of life. Take it step by step, one day at a time.
Do be mindful about who you tell, especially at first. So often we can become disillusioned or put down by the negative opinions of others. The aim here is to clear your mind from all negativity and reluctance. I would also advise that you take charge of your health and ensure that you keep any bad lifestyle habits at bay. To put simply, positive lifestyle choices, positively impact out attitude to life and to ourselves. Drink lots of water, follow a healthy diet, have a great sleep routine and exercise as best you can, even if it is just a short walk each day. Remember that this time is all for you Moira, as you strive to lead a better life and to become your best self.
If you continue to feel stuck or if you find yourself wracked with self-doubt or low confidence, it may help to attain some counselling support in order to focus your mind set and to instil motivation for the steps required to achieve your goals. The counselling process can coach you through whatever obstacles you face and support you through any anxiety or depression that you may be experiencing.
It is surprising how a few slight adjustments towards a healthy lifestyle, teamed with a researched and considered plan of action can transform the way we feel about what the future has in store for us. Maintain your hope Moira and do not delay that restart any longer. Have courage and start today! There truly is no better moment than right now.
Wishing you every happiness in your endeavours,
News on Sunday – My Weekly Advice Column
This blog post is also featured in the News on Sunday, a popular newspaper owned by the DefiMedia Group in Mauritius, which also covers local news, politics, economy, culture and entertainment on the island.
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