What is insecurity?
Feeling overly conscious about ourselves is something that we will all experience from time to time, whoever we are and whatever our accomplishments may be.
You are insecure when you lack confidence, feel anxious or uncertain about yourself or your capabilities. Conquering your insecurities can prove a tough challenge. In order to overcome this negative mind-set, you must first understand what has caused you to feel this way.
What causes insecurity?
To be wracked with feelings of insecurity is arduous and all consuming. Be it due to unhappiness with your appearance such as your teeth, your weight, or your height, or be it about your inner potential, for example your intellect or your talent, the insecurities you suffer can impact your life massively. What are the potential causes?
Childhood experiences:
Be it a critical parent, experience of bullying or perhaps a shaming event, many people’s insecurities are shaped early in life, during child or adolescent years.
Trauma:
The experience of trauma can have complex repercussions. Feeling insecure as a result of a past trauma is a common occurrence for many. If you are feeling heightened insecurity following a trauma, or any other symptoms such as anxiety or depression, seek support from a doctor or therapist right away.
Fear of failure:
Personally or professionally speaking, our insecurities can be incredibly destructive and limiting when failure is concerned. Harbouring a sense of failure over time can greatly undermine our self-confidence when it comes to our relationships or our careers.
Loneliness:
Positive reinforcement from the people we trust can be immensely beneficial in overcoming our negative beliefs about ourselves. If we are alone or isolated, it is likely that there will be times when we feel insecure.
Stress:
The accumulation of stress, brings with it an impact to our physical and mental health. Stress impacts the way we care for ourselves, be it through our diet or our sleep. When we are not caring for ourselves properly, our insecurities flourish.
What can you do?
Our insecurities greatly shape the way we see ourselves and impact the way that we lead our lives. Our insecurities influence our self-image, our behaviours and our attitudes. So how do we go about challenging our insecurities?
- Discover the underlying cause: Understanding the root cause of your insecurity is important. Take the time to consider why you feel this way about yourself. Is it your opinion or is it the opinion of someone else? Is it something that you can change? If it is not changeable, how can you learn to accept it and indeed yourself?
- Confront your negative thoughts: What does your inner voice sound like? If you suffer from insecurity, the chances are, your inner voice is both critical and negative. Destructive and defeating thought patterns may arise frequently depending on your level on insecurity. Often, the typical thoughts are ones such as ‘‘I am not good enough’’, ‘‘I can’t do this’’ and ‘‘I look terrible’’. The truth of the matter is, that you are most likely your own worst critic. The good news is, that you have the capacity to change things around. Begin by writing in a journal the negative thoughts that you are experiencing. Be sure to correct these thoughts by writing something positive next to it. Positive reinforcement is the key moving forwards if you are to conquer these thoughts once and for all.
- Believe in yourself: Let’s face facts. There will always be someone better looking, more confident, smarter, there will always be someone fitter, faster or more successful. There will always be someone with an opinion. We must not be limited by these opinions.
Maintaining your awareness is crucial. If you are lucky enough to find something that lights you up inside, whatever that may be, have the courage to try to achieve it, in spite of the insecurities that you are suffering. Have the self-belief to counteract any negative thoughts with positive ones. Find your positive voice, one that says, loud and clear that ‘‘I am good enough’’, ‘‘I can do this’’ and ‘‘I look good’’. Champion yourself and the life you wish to lead.
- Seek support: If you are struggling, do not suffer alone and do not hesitate to seek therapeutic support or make a visit to your doctor, should your insecurities be preventing you from leading a normal and happy life. The therapeutic process can support you in overcoming your insecurities in a confidential and respectful environment.
Ultimately, by looking within, to the depths of you and learning to accept who you are is far more productive and nurturing that giving in to our insecurities. Whatever our flaws and you can bet we all have them! They do not reflect our potential success or worth. If you are juggling deep insecurities, be sure to take extra special care of yourself during this time and remember that you are not alone.
Wishing you peace of mind and good mental health,
Caroline
News on Sunday – My Weekly Advice Column
This blog post is also featured in the News on Sunday, a popular newspaper owned by the DefiMedia Group in Mauritius, which covers local news, politics, economy, culture and entertainment on the island.
If you are looking for professional and qualified advice in and around Sitges (Spain), then please email me directly at caroline@heretohelp.co More information about myself and the services I offer can be found here at the Here to Help website.
