Dear Caroline,
Please help me. I set out to be very positive in this new year of 2019 and with one goal: to pursue a career in photography. It has always been a dream of mine and for one reason or another, the time and priority I have given to this has fallen further and further from reach.
Obviously, trying to maintain a good wage each month and keep a roof over my head has long been my focus, particularly as I have children and a partner depending upon me. I am proud that I have been able to do this for them. However, I am finding it tough recently, getting up and going to work, as every day feels like a waste of my time.
A lot of people in my life do not see why I would want to squander away my life doing something that may never bring me success, particularly as I am way past my thirties. Very soon to be well past my forties! I am feeling low and struggling to be positive at the moment. This is starting to keep me awake at night. The reality is, I am not in a position to leave my job or be as bold as I would like.
Is there anything that you can recommend and can I still dare to dream?
Thank you,
Finn
Dear Finn,
It was C.S Lewis who once said ‘‘you are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream’’. We have to be careful during moments such as this. Depression and anxiety can often stem from neglecting our intuition and our wants for our life. Be mindful about taking good care of yourself during this time, particularly as your sleep is beginning to become altered. Struggles with maintaining regular sleeping patterns, an impact upon our diet or relationships and a general feeling of lowness or indeed failure, can make it very difficult to seek out the motivation required to achieve our hopes and dreams.
Tell yourself each and every day moving forwards, that what you want is absolutely attainable. More than that, tell yourself that what you want is completely logical. You are passionate about photography, therefore you owe it to yourself to explore this further.
In the face of time and indeed the everyday pressures of daily life, we have to take charge. Remember, what you are asking for your life is entirely achievable. All it takes is your commitment to attempt it. This does not mean that you have to drastically overhaul your current working situation. What it does mean is that you have to make time, each day, to devote some attention to what it will take to make this happen. Even ten minutes per day is better than nothing. Think about it, ten minutes per day of planning or researching your photography dream, during a work break or before bed, adds up to one hour and ten minutes per week. That is four hours and forty minutes per month. That is fifty six hours per year. Which is still, better than nothing. Perhaps you could set yourself a goal to begin with, alongside your ten minutes of research per day, of also taking one photograph per day. Save that photo in a file that you slowly build upon each and every day. There you have it, with no change to your schedule whatsoever, you have already begun your journey! If you can find more time, then all the better. Try adding an extra ten minutes of research and planning time to your day with every month that passes. You will be amazed by the inner confidence you will harness just by making this small adjustment to your daily routine.
Should you find this initial change to be too daunting or challenging, it may be worth accessing some counselling support in order to explore what factors may be holding you back, as well as tackling your confidence and self-worth. Often, just a few sessions of counselling can dramatically improve your outlook and reinvigorate your perspective.
The negative opinions of others is a powerful and destructive thing. More often than not, people do not even realise the impact of their words and how damaging it can be to be told that ‘‘you could never do that’’ or ‘you are too old now, be happy with what you have’’. Learn to drown these voices out and listen to your own, inner voice that is keeping you awake at night and communicating the opposite. Do not dismiss your own potential and personal power to chase your dream.
Best wishes to you, photographer Finn. Have courage and uphold your self-belief. Remember that anything is possible, you just have to try.
Caroline
News on Sunday – My Weekly Advice Column
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